Bloomberg Offers to Pay $2500 a month to Anybody Who Will Vote for Him

Las Vegas, NV — In an effort to revitalize his campaign coming off of a horrible debate performance, Mike Bloomberg has offered to pay $2500 per month for 6 months to all voters who vote for him in the primaries.

When asked about the legality of such a move, Bloomberg stated, “I’m worth over $60B & can essentially do whatever the hell I want because money talks & America runs off of money.”

A few voters who were asked about voting for Bloomberg stated that as long as they can get half the money upfront they would vote for him. Some other voters stated they need at least $3000 & some tickets to Disney World & they would cast their vote for Bloomberg.

Straight Facts B...sort of
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