White People Protest Black Friday, Calling for White Friday

Birmingham, AL — A group of protesters gathered in front of a local Walmart in Birmingham, AL demanding that White Friday become a recognized shopping holiday alongside Black Friday.

One protester named Vern stated, “I’m not racist, but it seems like everything in this country is geared towards appeasing black people. How come white people can’t have White Friday? What’s wrong with that?”

Another protester named Mary Anne Binton was quoted as saying, “If we’re going to live in a country that wants to celebrate everybody’s skin color, then white people shouldn’t be left out. Just because I was born white shouldn’t mean I’m not allowed to celebrate being white.”

When asked if he knew that Black Friday had nothing to do with race but everything to do with businesses trying to sell off items for very cheap to bring their margins back to the black (profit), Hank Buckley stated, “I don’t care what it means. If the blacks can get a Friday named after them, then us whites can have one too & if that makes me racist, then so be it. I’m not taking this shit from blacks anymore!”

Straight Facts B...sort of
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