Jeff Bezos Thanks Rioters for Making Amazon the Only Place People Can Buy Stuff From Now

Seattle, WA — Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon & the world’s richest man, applauded the rioters & looters of the George Floyd protests for now causing everybody to pretty much exclusively shop on Amazon now, thereby increasing his wealth even higher.

We’re told by senior officials at Amazon that Jeff Bezos wants to see justice but he also is not going to pretend like all of the rioters burning down his competition is not good for his company.

We reached out to Jeff Bezos but we were told he was taking swimming lessons in his brand new Scrooge McDuck money vault filled with gold coins.

Straight Facts B...sort of
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