Joe Biden Proposes New Litmus Test to Determine If Black People are Really Black

New York, NY — Former Vice President Joe Biden was recently on the The Breakfast Club doing an interview with host Charlamagne when he told Charlamagne that “If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, you ain’t black.”

After some outrage on social media over his “you ain’t black” comment, Joe Biden has decided to fix the issue by proposing a new litmus test to help black people truly understand if they are black or not.

A representative from the Biden campaign sent us a preview of some of the proposed questions.

1. Do you eat pig feet and/or chittlins? If not, then you ain’t black.
2. Have you ever been beat with an extension cord growing up? If not, then you ain’t black.
3. Do you refer to cherry flavored Kool-Aid as “red”? If not, then you ain’t black.
4. Were you raised by your big mama/grandma? If not, then you ain’t black.
5. Do you like listening to soft rock or country music but change the radio to the urban station when other black people come around? If not, then you ain’t black.
6. Have you ever eaten cereal with water? If not, then you ain’t black.
7. During Thanksgiving, do you have at least one aunt or uncle who always brings their same sex “friend” by the house? If not, then you ain’t black.
8. Do relatives who come home from jail get bigger celebrations & parties than your relatives who graduate from high school or college? If not, then you ain’t black.
9. Do you prefer Texas Pete hot sauce over Tobasco hot sauce? If not, then you ain’t black.
10. Does your grandma have a living room set with plastic on the seats? If not, then you ain’t black.

We’re also told these questions along with others are being considered as an additional form to be added on the U.S. Census which will also aid in providing accurate accounting for who all is black in America.