All posts by KG News
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Drug Dealers Allow Their Corner Boys to Slang From Home Due to Coronavirus
Baltimore, MD — Local drug dealers are allowing their corner boys to sell drugs from home due to the coronavirus outbreak. Corners all over Baltimore,...
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Strippers in Atlanta are Testing Positive for Coronavirus
Atlanta, GA — Strippers across Atlanta are testing positive for coronavirus according to the CDC. Patrons of strip clubs are encouraged to check themselves into...
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Coronavirus is Causing People to Embrace the Idea of Washing Their Ass Everyday
Atlanta, GA — The coronavirus outbreak has caused people to go panic shopping all over the country buying up hand soaps & hand sanitizers to...
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Adidas & Puma Introduce Custom Coronavirus Surgical Masks
Los Angeles, CA — Since the coronavirus outbreak, surgical masks sales have skyrocketed due to the belief that a surgical mask is all one needs...
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DaBaby Slaps a Fan He Thought Was Trying to Spread Coronavirus
Tampa, FL — Rapper DaBaby was recently recorded walking through a club in Tampa, FL & viciously slapping a fan. Initially it was reported that...
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Dr. Sebi’s Mysterious Death Linked to Possible Coronavirus Cure
New York, NY — Famed herbalist Dr. Sebi is believed to have cured coronavirus prior to his death in 2016. Dr. Sebi was famous for...
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Dr. Umar Johnson Wanted By “The Man” for Solving Coronavirus Mystery
Philadelphia, PA — Famed psychologist Dr. Umar Johnson alleges to have solved the mystery of how the coronavirus outbreak came into existence. Dr. Umar Johnson...
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Joe Biden Racks Up Delegates in Wakanda
New York, NY — Vice President Joe Biden made a stunning come back during Super Tuesday by pretty much winning most of the eastern states...
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Bernie Sanders Promises Universal Coronavirus for All Americans
Washington, DC — Democratic socialist Bernie Sanders just announced that he promises to ensure all Americans receive their fare share of coronavirus. The coronavirus outbreak...
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Pete Buttigieg Drops Out Race, Vows to Run in 2024 as a Heterosexual Man
New York, NY — Mayor Pete Buttigieg officially dropped out of the 2020 Presidential campaign after coming in 4th place in the South Carolina primaries....
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Tom Steyer & Juvenile Debut New Song Titled “Drop That Azz Out”
Columbia, SC — Democratic candidate & billionaire Tom Steyer recently drop a new song titled “Drop That Azz Out” with New Orleans rapper Juvenile. The...
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Chinese Restaurants Rebrand as Mexican Restaurants Over Coronavirus Fears
New York, NY — Fears of the potential coronavirus pandemic have caused Chinese restaurants to take drastic measures to prevent their businesses from being negatively...
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Pete Buttigieg Plans to Personally Check on Uncle Dick in the Deer Stand
Charleston, SC — Pete Buttigieg’s campaign just stated that Pete plans to personally spend time checking in on Amy Klobuchar’s Uncle Dick in the deer...
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Democratic Debate Moderators Promise to Address ‘Black Issues’ Such as Baby Mamas & Twerking
Charleston, SC — Democratic primary debate moderators are coming under fire for not addressing black issues outside of the realm of crime & poverty. Black...
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Oprah Says a Harvey Weinstein Documentary Will Be Produced in Nevuary of This Year
Chicago, IL — Due to the recent convictions of Harvey Weinstein & pressure from the black community, Oprah has finally decided to inform the black...
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Bullied 9 Year Quaden Bayles Says “I’m Rich Bitch!” After Raising $360K on GoFundMe
Australia — 9 year old Quaden Bayles has raised over $360K through a GoFundMe campaign that was set up to help him go on a...
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Bloomberg Offers to Pay $2500 a month to Anybody Who Will Vote for Him
Las Vegas, NV — In an effort to revitalize his campaign coming off of a horrible debate performance, Mike Bloomberg has offered to pay $2500...
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Fights Breakout Over KFC Chicken & Donuts Combo
Atlanta, GA — KFC just debuted their fried chicken & donut combo and fights have already began to ensue. Reminiscent of the brawling that took...
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Mike Bloomberg Offers Elizabeth Warren $10M to Sign a NDA After Debate
Las Vegas, NV — Mike Bloomberg caught a verbal beat down from Senator Elizabeth Warren on last night’s debate stage. Former New York City mayor...
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Mike Bloomberg Promises Record Deals for All Stop & Frisk Victims
Las Vegas, NV — Mike Bloomberg has promised to make up for his racist stop & frisk policies that unfairly targeted predominantly black citizens of...
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Joe Biden Racks Up Delegates in Wakanda
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R. Kelly Has Allegedly Been Singing Lullabies to Fellow Inmates
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R. Kelly Identifies as Trans-Age Saying He’s Really 16 Trapped in a 53 Year Old Body
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Black Churches Want Their Congregations to Donate Their Stimulus Checks to the Church’s Building Fund
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Black Grandmas are Offended by People Calling Chitlins “Booty Noodles”
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Jeff Bezos Thanks Rioters for Making Amazon the Only Place People Can Buy Stuff From Now
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White People Protest Black Friday, Calling for White Friday
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Strippers in Atlanta are Testing Positive for Coronavirus
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Tory Lanez to Release a Gospel Album Dedicated to Megan Thee Stallion Asking for Forgiveness
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Pete Buttigieg Releases New Black & LGBTQ Unity Flag
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