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Washington Redskins Contemplating Name Change to the D.C. Foreskins
Chicago Gangs Promise to Not Kill Anyone During the 4th of July Weekend
BLM Protesters Demand White Jesus Be Replaced with Morgan Freeman
Uncle Ruckus Replaces Uncle Ben as New Logo
Quaker Oats Company to Replace Aunt Jemima with Aunt Viv
George Zimmerman to Help Minneapolis with Community Policing Due to Disbanding of Police Department
Minneapolis Looters are Shocked by All of the Riots They See Taking Place on Their Stolen Flatscreen TVs
Jeff Bezos Thanks Rioters for Making Amazon the Only Place People Can Buy Stuff From Now
Target & Other Stores Held a “Fuxx The Police” Sale in Minneapolis
Trump Threatens to Force Americans to Use MySpace If They Don’t Leave His Tweets Alone
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Adidas & Puma Introduce Custom Coronavirus Surgical Masks
Los Angeles, CA — Since the coronavirus outbreak, surgical masks sales have skyrocketed due to the belief that a surgical mask is all one needs...
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DaBaby Slaps a Fan He Thought Was Trying to Spread Coronavirus
Tampa, FL — Rapper DaBaby was recently recorded walking through a club in Tampa, FL & viciously slapping a fan. Initially it was reported that...
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Dr. Sebi’s Mysterious Death Linked to Possible Coronavirus Cure
New York, NY — Famed herbalist Dr. Sebi is believed to have cured coronavirus prior to his death in 2016. Dr. Sebi was famous for...
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Dr. Umar Johnson Wanted By “The Man” for Solving Coronavirus Mystery
Philadelphia, PA — Famed psychologist Dr. Umar Johnson alleges to have solved the mystery of how the coronavirus outbreak came into existence. Dr. Umar Johnson...
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Joe Biden Racks Up Delegates in Wakanda
New York, NY — Vice President Joe Biden made a stunning come back during Super Tuesday by pretty much winning most of the eastern states...
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Bernie Sanders Promises Universal Coronavirus for All Americans
Washington, DC — Democratic socialist Bernie Sanders just announced that he promises to ensure all Americans receive their fare share of coronavirus. The coronavirus outbreak...
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Pete Buttigieg Drops Out Race, Vows to Run in 2024 as a Heterosexual Man
New York, NY — Mayor Pete Buttigieg officially dropped out of the 2020 Presidential campaign after coming in 4th place in the South Carolina primaries....
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Tom Steyer & Juvenile Debut New Song Titled “Drop That Azz Out”
Columbia, SC — Democratic candidate & billionaire Tom Steyer recently drop a new song titled “Drop That Azz Out” with New Orleans rapper Juvenile. The...
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Chinese Restaurants Rebrand as Mexican Restaurants Over Coronavirus Fears
New York, NY — Fears of the potential coronavirus pandemic have caused Chinese restaurants to take drastic measures to prevent their businesses from being negatively...
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Pete Buttigieg Plans to Personally Check on Uncle Dick in the Deer Stand
Charleston, SC — Pete Buttigieg’s campaign just stated that Pete plans to personally spend time checking in on Amy Klobuchar’s Uncle Dick in the deer...
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Democratic Debate Moderators Promise to Address ‘Black Issues’ Such as Baby Mamas & Twerking
Charleston, SC — Democratic primary debate moderators are coming under fire for not addressing black issues outside of the realm of crime & poverty. Black...
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Oprah Says a Harvey Weinstein Documentary Will Be Produced in Nevuary of This Year
Chicago, IL — Due to the recent convictions of Harvey Weinstein & pressure from the black community, Oprah has finally decided to inform the black...
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Bullied 9 Year Quaden Bayles Says “I’m Rich Bitch!” After Raising $360K on GoFundMe
Australia — 9 year old Quaden Bayles has raised over $360K through a GoFundMe campaign that was set up to help him go on a...
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Bloomberg Offers to Pay $2500 a month to Anybody Who Will Vote for Him
Las Vegas, NV — In an effort to revitalize his campaign coming off of a horrible debate performance, Mike Bloomberg has offered to pay $2500...
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Fights Breakout Over KFC Chicken & Donuts Combo
Atlanta, GA — KFC just debuted their fried chicken & donut combo and fights have already began to ensue. Reminiscent of the brawling that took...
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Mike Bloomberg Offers Elizabeth Warren $10M to Sign a NDA After Debate
Las Vegas, NV — Mike Bloomberg caught a verbal beat down from Senator Elizabeth Warren on last night’s debate stage. Former New York City mayor...
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Mike Bloomberg Promises Record Deals for All Stop & Frisk Victims
Las Vegas, NV — Mike Bloomberg has promised to make up for his racist stop & frisk policies that unfairly targeted predominantly black citizens of...
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Rosario Dawson Comes Out the Closet & Says Cory Booker is Next
Newark, NJ — Actress Rosario Dawson has recently come out of the closet to declare she’s officially an LGBTQ member. She also stated that her...
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Pop Smoke’s Murder Causes a Spike in Life Insurance Policies for Rappers
Los Angeles, CA — Up and coming New York City rapper by the name of Pop Smoke was tragically shot & killed Wednesday morning in...
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Young Thug Says He Likes Dresses Too & Begs Twitter Not to Cancel Him Over Remarks About Zaya
Atlanta, GA — Rapper Young Thug is facing some criticism over a tweet in regards to Zaya Wade’s decision to come out as transgender. After...
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Dr. Umar Johnson Says Kobe Bryant Died b/c Kobe Didn’t Donate to Umar’s School
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CDC Warns of New Hennyvirus Outbreak
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Quaker Oats Company to Replace Aunt Jemima with Aunt Viv
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Adidas & Puma Introduce Custom Coronavirus Surgical Masks
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Tevin Campbell Admits “Can We Talk” Song is an Anthem for Stalkers
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Drug Dealers Allow Their Corner Boys to Slang From Home Due to Coronavirus
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Sex Doll Sales Surge Due to Men Fearing Catching Coronavirus From Thots & Side Chicks
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CDC Confirms Everybody Who Participated in the 1990s Freaknik Has Coronavirus
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Uncle Ruckus Replaces Uncle Ben as New Logo
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White Supremacy Killed Juice WRLD
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