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Chicago Gangs Promise to Not Kill Anyone During the 4th of July Weekend
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Uncle Ruckus Replaces Uncle Ben as New Logo
Quaker Oats Company to Replace Aunt Jemima with Aunt Viv
George Zimmerman to Help Minneapolis with Community Policing Due to Disbanding of Police Department
Minneapolis Looters are Shocked by All of the Riots They See Taking Place on Their Stolen Flatscreen TVs
Jeff Bezos Thanks Rioters for Making Amazon the Only Place People Can Buy Stuff From Now
Target & Other Stores Held a “Fuxx The Police” Sale in Minneapolis
Trump Threatens to Force Americans to Use MySpace If They Don’t Leave His Tweets Alone
Doja Cat Plans to Release a Gospel Album Hoping Her Fans Forgive Her
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Coronavirus Quarantine Forces Millions of Black Women to Survive w/o Weave Bundles
Atlanta, GA — Coronavirus quarantines all across the country have forced many people to have to go without & just get by on the bare...
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If You Talked Bad About Trump in Last 4 Years, No Stimulus Check for You
Washington, DC — Coronavirus stimulus checks are currently being prepared to be sent out to millions of Americans to combat the economic issues brought on...
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Kids are Complaining About Homeschooling b/c Parents Don’t Know How to Do Any of That Stuff
New York, NY — Due to the coronavirus outbreak in the U.S., schools across the country have been shutdown in order to help combat the...
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Coronavirus Causes “Headline-itis” Side Effect in Black People to Where They Can’t Identify Satire
Atlanta, GA — The CDC just announced that a major side effect of coronavirus that affects primarily black people is that the virus is prohibiting...
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Uncle Luke’s “Doo Doo Brown” was Playing When Andrew Gillum was Caught with Meth & Male Escort
Miami, FL — Photos have been released of disgraced former Tallahassee mayor & former Democratic gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum showing him completely passed out &...
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Strippers Forced to Find Other Ways to Pay for College During Coronavirus Outbreak
Atlanta, GA — Strippers in Atlanta are being forced to find other means of paying for college due to the coronavirus outbreak. Strip clubs in...
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Father Who Went to Get a Pack of Cigarettes 20 Years Ago Returns Home to Unite with His Kids Thanks to Coronavirus
Jersey City, NJ — Father who left to get a pack of cigarettes 20 years ago returns home to be with his children during coronavirus...
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Crips & Bloods Volunteer to Patrol Los Angeles to Make Sure Everybody is Safe During Coronavirus Outbreak
Los Angeles, LA — The governor of California recently just mandated that the entire state is on lockdown & that its 40 million residents are...
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Guys Who Wear Skinny Jeans are at High Risk for Catching COVID-19
New York, NY — The CDC just released a statement informing the public that guys who wear skinny jeans are at a higher risk of...
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CDC Confirms Everybody Who Participated in the 1990s Freaknik Has Coronavirus
Atlanta, GA — The CDC has recently confirmed that all participants of the classic 1990s Freaknik have tested positive for coronavirus. The CDC is recommending...
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Walmarts Across the Nation Open Up One Additional Register to Speed Up Coronavirus Panic Buying
Houston, TX — Due to massive panic buying over the coronavirus outbreak, Walmart announced that they will be opening up one additional register to help...
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Sex Doll Sales Surge Due to Men Fearing Catching Coronavirus From Thots & Side Chicks
Atlanta, GA — Sex doll makers are experiencing a surge in sales due to men fearing relations with women during the coronavirus outbreak. Men from...
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Andrew Gillum Enters Rehab to Get Delivert From Drugs & Male Escorts
Miami, FL — Former Tallahassee, FL mayor & Florida Gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum just announced that he will be checking himself into rehab to help...
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Jesus Christ Cancels All Prayer Requests Until Coronavirus is Tamed
Heaven — Jesus Christ just put out a message stating that all prayer requests asking Him to fix this coronavirus pandemic have been cancelled until...
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CDC Warns that Coronavirus Has Been Found on Toilet Paper
Atlanta, GA — The CDC just issued a warning stating that rolls of toilet paper have been found to possess coronavirus. This statement comes due...
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Illegal Immigrants Rushing Back to Mexico to Escape Coronavirus Outbreak in the U.S.
Houston, TX — Illegal immigrants have been spotted crossing the border to return to Mexico in an effort to avoid catching the coronavirus in the...
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Drug Dealers Allow Their Corner Boys to Slang From Home Due to Coronavirus
Baltimore, MD — Local drug dealers are allowing their corner boys to sell drugs from home due to the coronavirus outbreak. Corners all over Baltimore,...
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Strippers in Atlanta are Testing Positive for Coronavirus
Atlanta, GA — Strippers across Atlanta are testing positive for coronavirus according to the CDC. Patrons of strip clubs are encouraged to check themselves into...
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Coronavirus is Causing People to Embrace the Idea of Washing Their Ass Everyday
Atlanta, GA — The coronavirus outbreak has caused people to go panic shopping all over the country buying up hand soaps & hand sanitizers to...
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Adidas & Puma Introduce Custom Coronavirus Surgical Masks
Los Angeles, CA — Since the coronavirus outbreak, surgical masks sales have skyrocketed due to the belief that a surgical mask is all one needs...
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Dr. Umar Johnson Says Kobe Bryant Died b/c Kobe Didn’t Donate to Umar’s School
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Tevin Campbell Admits “Can We Talk” Song is an Anthem for Stalkers
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Adidas & Puma Introduce Custom Coronavirus Surgical Masks
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Joe Biden Tells Young Jeezy That His President is Still Black
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People Wearing COVID 19 Bandana Face Masks are “G Checking” People for Wearing the Wrong Colors
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CDC Confirms Everybody Who Participated in the 1990s Freaknik Has Coronavirus
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Quaker Oats Company to Replace Aunt Jemima with Aunt Viv
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Mother-In-Law Arrested for Slapping Daughter-In-Law with Turkey Leg
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Drug Dealers Allow Their Corner Boys to Slang From Home Due to Coronavirus
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Joe Biden Proposes New Litmus Test to Determine If Black People are Really Black
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